


Letters to You

by YuriAllDahWay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, Hange's Inner Angst, Letters, Mention of Eren, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1379017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriAllDahWay/pseuds/YuriAllDahWay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanji decides to write a letter to a loved one, but can't quite find the words to put it in. As she rambles on and on in the letter, only then is it revealed how much she was impacted by that certain event: the day Petra went away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters to You

"Dear You,

Have you been feeling well lately? Or rather, are you doing fine? A strange question to ask, I realize, considering what your…situation is, currently. Regardless, it would feel a bit too wrong to not open a letter with that question. Courtesy, you may call it. Or perhaps I just added that bit out of habit. God knows how many letters I've sent you with that statement in the first paragraph. I digress.

Knowing you, you must wonder how  _I_ must have been feeling. I've been…alright, I suppose. I'm starting to get over the initial shock. I could only imagine my face when I saw you. You looked strangely at peace in a way. We know the cause, because of Eren Yeager, but it still raises the question of did you go peacefully? I wonder if it hurt. It must have, didn't it? After all, it  _was_ quite brutal. I could only imagine your fear. Or did you not feel fear at all? I don't know. I wouldn't know. There are so many things I can only imagine. Human imagination tends to go so far as we want it to go. You may know me as thinking beyond but…there are some things that I do not want to know. Perhaps…was finding out one of them too?

Ah, how strange. I'm blabbering on again aren't I? You would always complain how I did that all the time in our conversations, albeit from newfound Titan research, to conspiracies and theories, to even the food I ate during lunch. You always listened with such a caring smile; nothing more can make me happier than seeing that amazing sight on your face. Yes, that includes researching Titans. To a certain extent (I jest, I really do).

Remember how much you would say that you would name our children Sonny and Bean if we got married? The look on your face when I said I based off the name from the infamous cannibal brings a smile on my face every time I recall it. You even said that maybe the previous Titan duo's names were better than Sonny and Bean. I beg to differ of course. But you always had your opinions, and so do we. Humans tend to have opinions, after all. You're no exception.

My, this has gotten quite lengthy already, hasn't it? I should really limit my rambling, shouldn't I? You would always complain how my spiels would get so entertaining for long, but in the end, you would simply laugh at the same old line I would tell. Have I ever told you how charming your laugh was? Or even how adorable your giggles were? By God, they were the music to my ears, they really were.

Now, where was I? I haven't been so at lost for words for a while now. What was my initial purpose of writing this again? I have forgotten, a long, long time ago. Perhaps when the quill had reached the parchment, my reason had fled me. This always happens, doesn't it? Ah, how problematic. Humans can be quite forgetful, can't they?

We have captured the true identity of the Female Titan, by the way. Who knew, it was one of the graduates of Squad 104. Annie Leonhardt, I believe it was. If I recall from her report, she came from unknown origin, and was in the Top Ten in her class. The rank—I believe—was fourth. She was underneath Mikasa Ackerman, Reiner Braun, and Bertolt Hoover, in that order. I find it ironic on how all the Shifters followed each other in a consecutive order. Strange, isn't it?

I'm running out of topics to scribble down on this piece of paper. Actually, this is the second piece of parchment I'm writing on; only so many words can fit on a browning piece of stationary. How many subjects must I touch on before actually getting to the point? There are so many answers about myself that even I can't answer. There are so many things that humans can do, and so many things that we cannot. Natural flight, resistance to gravity, and escaping the clutches of death are just a few of the many things that we simply cannot overcome. I know that you have experienced the last example all too well…

Now, there is something that humans can do: expression of emotion. For some, it's awfully easy; for others, it's quite difficult. But for me, it's...hard for me to describe. No scientific explanation can really explain what I am feeling. It simply is how it is. How confusing humans can be. We might as well be the most complex organism to ever walk this land. That, of course, may or may not be truth. There are so many things we haven't discovered yet. But I digress once more.

What have I been trying to say is…that I have missed you. You may think that this is ridiculous, coming from me, but it is quite true. I have missed you for a long, long time. It hurts, it really does. I can't simply just turn back time and start over; that's another thing humans simply can't do. It's farfetched. It's insane. It's just  _impossible_  for me to do. As much as I would like to, I couldn't. Hell, I don't even know if I  _would_ want to, if given the choice. You'll be surprised how big a change can be, albeit minor or major one. But I believe that's a different topic for another day, don't you think?

How I long to be beside you again. To relish in your warmth, to listen to your voice and laughs, to just gaze at you once last time; the desire is simply too much. There are days where I find myself wondering, 'If I miss you so much, why don't I just join you?' But then again, you would be disappointed in me, and that would be a much worse feeling that this loneliness I feel right now.

So now, all I can do is vent my emotions into a simple sentences.

I miss you.

I want you.

I long to be with you, I really do.

But even more than that, I love you. Beyond any reason, I really do love you.

One day, I hope that we can be reunited, in that place where you are. Now, you know that I don't particularly believe in the aspect of Heaven, but if it's with you…I think I'm willing to try that. Heaven is anywhere as long as I'm with you, as corny as that may sound.

So please, just wait a little longer. Reserve a spot for me, please. I need to finish up my business in this Hell of a world before getting back to you.

Hopefully, this letter will reach you. But who knows if it will? Perhaps only you know.

Ah, humans are weird. And I certainly am no exception, aren't I?

Sincerely,

Hanji Zoë"

-x-

The next day, Hanji set the letter down in front of a stone grave. There was no body underneath, since it had been left behind somewhere beyond the Walls. Still, it served as a memorial for those who had lost their lives during their line of service, and a reminder for the danger and impending doom reserved for each one of us.

As Hanji stared at the stone marker, the scientist focused on the name engraved.

_Petra Ral_

"My, it has been a long time, hasn't it?" Hanji mumbled, smiling a sad smile as she continued to look at the grave.

-x-

"Dear You,

You haven't changed a single bit, have you? You're as wordy as ever, that chicken-scratch you call writing hard as ever to decipher. But it's one of the things that I absolutely adore about you. You keep this bravado of eccentric energy that's so palpable many keep their distance away with the fear that your craziness is contagious. Many fail to see that even the craziest scientist can have feelings. It always surprised me to see you emotional; it always does. I'm so used to seeing your stupid, yet charming smile. It fits with you. It fits your character.

But maybe that's just a mistake I have made on my part. Humans always make mistakes, don't they? That's what you always said.

Ah, damn, I'm running out of things to write already. And this is hardly even the beginning. How you manage to write so much baffles me.

Nevertheless, I love you too.

I miss you too.

I want you by my side too.

I'm waiting for you, whether you know it or not.

And take your time, please. Don't rush so much, it'll cause stress and that's bad for your health. Relax a bit; even the most prominent researchers need their tea time. I can wait for eternity, my dear. Just do what you have to right now.

I'll be waiting for your return, okay?

Love,

Petra Ral

(PS, please do forgive me for the short reply. I can only think of so many things to write)"

-x-

Satisfied, Petra folded her letter and let it fall from the cloud she was sitting on, watching it dance and flip, transforming into a leaf as it did so. It delicately landed on top of Hanji's head, and Petra couldn't stifle the giggle that escaped her as she watched her lover's expression turn confused.

"She really is a strange one," Petra lightly commented, adoringly watching Hanji leave the leaf behind with the letter, before going back to the Scouting Legion Headquarters.

"I'm waiting, Hanji dear."

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that this isn't a popular pairing, but I decided to write this nonetheless.  
> And I should upload some of my other work on this site as well.


End file.
